Full Circle

November 2006

Hilton's Story

Chapter 29 Bangalore

When Hilton broke meditation he had decided to go to the monastery in the Himalayas, now sure that any message from Kay would be there. He would leave tomorrow by way of Bangalore first to immerse himself in modern culture and confirm that his mind had not been twisted by mysticism.

 First, he called the Buddhist temple in Sarnath to tell the Bhuddist Master that he would accept his offer of a retreat to the monastery in Nepal. The Master asked him to take Ananda but Upsali and Sariputa must stay. Hilton called Sanjay who was happy to know what he planned  and that he had a college friend teaching at the India Institute of Science who might let Hilton to stay with him.

           Bangalore is a metropolitan city in the hills of southern India,  one of the major centres for advanced technology particularly Information Technology, software development and is home to many worldwide call centres. It is high in the hills with a moderate climate attractive to the new generation of computer engineers and multinational companies.

            Hilton and Ananda found a taxi at the airport and gave the address of their host at the Institute. The city’s recent prosperity created an endless traffic jamb that made the drive slow but they finally arrived at a modern two-story house in the Palace Orchards district not far from the Institute. J.B. Gupta met them at the door to welcome them into his house. His wife, Rakhi, was in the main room waiting while they brought their few possessions from the taxi.

When they were settled Rakhi took Hilton and Anada on a tour of their modern new home. Anada had never seen such appliances and conveniences and he really liked the large bright windows allowing fresh cool airflow through the rooms. Hilton said that it was like the homes in Southern California.    

Rakhi instructed the maid to show Hilton and Ananda to their rooms with an invitation to join her and J.B. for refreshments. The patio overlooked an extensive well-tended garden at the back of the house. A swimming pool sparkled in the late afternoon sun as he made his way downstairs to rejoin his hosts. J.B. had scotch and ice ready. Hilton accepted it gladly, it had been a long time since a drink had tasted so good. Ananda chose orange juice.

“Sanjay told me that you are on something of a pilgrimage in our country,” J.B. said as he put his empty glass on the table. “That sounds intriguing, not many Westerners do that, unless they are young”.

Hilton laughed, “Yes, it is something older people don’t do. I am the exception, I guess.”

“Do you want to tell me more? I gather you were here with a woman earlier this year and met Sanjay on the train to Calcutta.”

“Yes, I was with Kay. We had visiting temples and were preparing to return San Francisco . She died in a car crash.”

“I’m so sorry,” J.B. said.

“Thank you. I came back to India to find a reason to live. I very nearly didn’t live, either, but Ananda found me delirious with malaria near his monastery in the Deer Park. The Buddhists nursed me back to health and Ananda has looked after me ever since. ”

“Well, young man, I’m certainly glad you saved this poor fellow. We don’t see many Buddhist monks in Bangalore. What can we do for you?”

“I’ve lived the monastic life for six years,” answered Ananda, “with some modern equipment including computers but I’d like to learn more about them.”

“You've come to the right place for that,” said J.B. “Our technical school is the best in India and I think we can give you a crash course in the basics of computers.”

“Hilton, Sanjay told me that you practiced Tantra. Rakhi and I have heard about it and I know Sanjay does it. What is it?”

Hilton laughed quietly, “I can give you a crash course in the superficial aspects of it.”

Rakhi, beautiful, in her late thirties, with long black hair and dark eyes between high cheekbones and clear golden skin, covered in a loose, colourful silken sari focused her radiance on Hilton as he described Tantra. He sensed her intense interest, seeing in her eyes the look of his lost love. It had been so long since he felt a woman’s warmth. She smiled tenderly, perhaps longingly, as he warmed to the subject and described the effect of kundalini and how it could make a man and a woman become as one spiritually. Her eyes widened and she glanced at J.B.  listening attentively.

When Hilton stopped for a drink she asked, “Are there many people in America who practice Tantra?”

 “Not many, they are mostly in California although I've met practitioners from other places but they are few in numbers. The people that do it are very dedicated and claim to have improved personal lives and even saved their marriages. I think it is a profound practice with real benefits for people who want to explore their feelings and expand their relationships after the flame of young love dies out.”

She looked over at J.B., “Maybe we should study Tantra ourselves”. He took a drink and said that he thought dinner was ready ending the conversation.

The halls of the Institute were crowded with students as J.B. led Hilton and Ananda to his office. Ananda’s yellow robe was a curiosity to the students who were dressed in jeans and tees like students everywhere. Some of the women wore saris and a few Muslim headscarves were seen but in general it was a typical Indian campus. The office was cluttered with books and papers and a line of students waited at the door to talk to their instructor. J.B. was forced to ask one of his assistants to take Ananda to the computer lab and show him some of its secrets. When the first rush of activity stopped J.B. asked Hilton more about what he was doing in India and why he had come back after the death of Kay. Hilton tried to describe his feelings but couldn’t avoid mentioning the spiritual side of his emotions, an experience that J.B. could not relate to. Hilton steered the conversation to the activities of the Institute where they were on common ground. He described the technology he had implemented in his own company and J.B. was at home with that going on to describe the research being done in his faculty. It was what Hilton wanted to talk about as he tried to distance himself from the world of Shiva and Shatki.

J.B took him to the computer labs where he sent an email to his daughter briefly describing what he was doing in India and checked his home mailbox It was full of old messages that he glanced through and deleted. A message from Karen caught his eye and he read it carefully. She told him how sorry she was for his loss and that she would like to see him again when he returned home. He replied with a short message of thanks and that he would call her.     

          Rakhi was free the next day. She asked if Ananda and Hilton would like a tour of the city. Ananda preferred to go back to the Institute so Rakhi took Hilton out in her new BMW.

They travelled along Mahatma Ghandi Road through the busy streets as she described the new city rising above the demolished homes and shops of the old colonial city. She talked about the older residents tried to stop glass towers going up in place of their familiar neighborhoods. Hilton said it was the same everywhere and wondered if the twenty first century would be as wonderful as everyone expected but then they arrived at the Lal Bagh Botanical Gardens where she parked the car. The Gardens attract residents and visitors to the pleasant grounds and beautiful displays.

They walked among the flower beds together self-consciously. Hilton thought she had something on her mind but hesitated to say anything. Finally, in front a large display of begonias Rakhi asked Hilton to tell her more about Tantra.

“I was very interested in what you said and would like to know more. J.B. doesn’t seem to care but tell me, please.”

“This could be embarrassing but I’ll do my best. There are many layers to Tantra but for most people it is a way of reinvigorating love and the sex lives of partners.”

“Yes, I understand that but how is it done. Do people use implements, share partners or perform devious activities?”

He chuckled. “Yes and no. It really is a way of interacting with a partner at the cerebral level using meditation and sexual techniques. Sex is the means by which partners come to understand each other and to take their emotional lives on a higher plane. There are skills that must be learned so that the lovemaking may continue for however long they wish. Men must practice self-control. Women learn to trust and to accept orgasms until their nervous systems demand it stop”.

She sighed wistfully but remained silent until they returned to the car.

“Would you like to drive out to the Nandi Hills for a view over the whole area? It takes about an hour but you will like the vineyards. I bet you didn’t know we make wine in India, too.”

The hill is a huge granite outcropping in the middle of a large plain. It is even more imposing because of the flat surrounding terrain. She parked and they walked along a shady path when Rakhi stopped and pointed up into the branches of a tree. Twisted around the trunk was a snake basking in the sun and a closer look revealed it was a cobra. Hilton sucked in his breath and approached it slowly as Rakhi pulled him away. He realized that it was not a god sent snake this time and stepped back beyond striking distance.

          “Why did you approach that snake?” she asked breathlessly. “It is very dangerous.

”Yes. I know about cobras. I ran into one in Madurai twice but it was no ordinary cobra. I believe it was Shiva in the form of a snake. I thought this was him again but it wasn’t”

“Shiva is a mythical god. How could you believe you encountered Shiva?” She was beginning to wonder if he was normal.

“It is all part of Tantra. Promise me you won’t tell anyone if I explain.”

She promised and they returned to the car. Driving back to the city he told her about the Snake, Maithuna and Mount Meru. He could tell she was having a hard time believing what he said.

“I wish you could believe me,” he said. “I’ve been so lonely since Kay died and I hoped to find her again in India.”

“Do you believe in the cycle of life and death?” she asked.

“I didn’t at first but after what I've seen I believe there is more than what we see on the surface. Do you believe it? You are a Hindu and it is written in the Vedas.”

“I don’t know,” she answered hesitantly. “There must be something more. I hope you will find her. You are a very intense man, Hilton. I could happily give you my love if you would accept it.”

The car was almost stopped in the crowded city streets at the evening rush hour. “Would you like to have dinner?” she asked, frustrated with the traffic. “As a celebration of what can never be. I know a place with the very best chicken masala.”

Between courses he teased her with more details about Tantra and enjoyed watching her beautiful face become flushed thinking about it. 

            The next few days passed quickly.  Rakhi seemed to be everywhere, her charms on display. Hilton wondered if J.B. might get ideas, no matter how innocent things were, but J.B. didn't seem to  notice how enticing his wife appeared. 

            Ananda learned as much as he could about computers, the World Wide Web and Web Pages. He became competent in surfing the web and even posted his own web page describing some of his travels with Hilton. Late one the afternoon Hilton received a call from the Buddhist Master in Sarnath about his retreat to a monastery in Nepal. Arrangements had been made at one of the monasteries near the Swayambhu Shrine for Hilton and Ananda to stay and study. The Master asked Hilton to help Ananda improve his computer skills to be ready for his next task as a Buddhist monk.

            Hilton met Rakhi as she came up the driveway from work. J.B. and Ananda had not yet returned from the University.

            Her face flushed when she saw him. “Oh, Hilton, I didn’t expect to find you out here.”

            “Rakhi, I wanted to catch you alone for a minute. You look very pretty in your work clothes you know, like a California girl.”

            She blushed more, “I’m glad you like it, thank you.”

            “I’ll be leaving tomorrow. I hate to tell you I’m going. Arrangements have been made for Ananda and me to go to Kathmandu. I hope to find what I’m looking for there.”

            Tears filled her eyes. “How do you know you haven’t found it here.” Her lips trembled; she fell into his arms wetting his cheeks with tears and kisses.

            He kissed her lips and tasted her tongue. She was warm and pliant against his body.

            “Darling Rakhi, you belong here with J.B. It’s not right. We can’t be together.” He felt guilty holding her and yet he wanted someone to hold, to feel against his body, to kiss his lips. Maybe she was what he was looking for, but no, he couldn’t take another man’s wife.

            J.B’s car turned into the driveway. She broke away and ran straight into the house. Hilton met J.B. with the news about their departure.

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