Full Circle

      A racy story for the uninhibited         

 

October 2006

Hilton's Story

Chapter 23  Calcutta

   Kay wakened early from a restless sleep. She hadn’t been sleeping well since the night of the dream and she shook awake Hilton just in time  for the dawn boat ride. The river boat is probably the only quiet place in all of the city and dawn when people come down to the river to bathe. The boat took them far out on the river past the riverside ghats and temples as far as the Burning Ghats where human bodies are cremated, a holy place but horrible in westerns eyes. Varanasi, one of the oldest living cities in the world, is the place where Hindus literally give up their ego to achieve the blessing of the holy river. The river there is polluted by parts of partially cremated corpses, dead animals, industrial and human waste and other contaminants and yet it is the source of life throughout northern India. Kay and Hilton were happy to have taken the ride and experienced the river but were also happy to get  back to the hotel for a wash and breakfast. They had time for a bus tour of the city before catching the overnight train to Calcutta.

    Indian trains are among the finest in the world. They are very important to the people and are usually crowded but the first class compartment that Kay and Hilton were assigned was spacious, comfortable and most importantly private. They dined leisurely and watched the tourists and Indian travellers in a detached manner. A distinguished looking man sitting across from Hilton spoke and inquired if they were enjoying their visit in his country. Hilton said they were and made introductions. The man’s name was Sanjay, his sari-clad companion was his wife and he was a businessman from Calcutta returning after visiting family in Varanasi.

    They ordered a brandy after dinner and continued chatting. Kay became apprehensive remembering the couple they had met in Khajuraho and the events that followed. Hilton asked them if they had ever been in Khajuraho but they said they hadn’t although they planned to visit there some time. Most people never visit the local tourist sites joked the man and Hilton agreed. Hilton then described the strange encounter they had with a couple at the temple and how puzzled they had been when they were not able to find them again to return some property. He didn’t describe all the events of the night. Kay wondered if this couple could be the same ones they had met and she tugged on Hilton saying she was tired and wished to retire. They finished their brandy and took their leave.

    When they closed the compartment door Kay hugged Hilton and said she had the strangest feeling about those two and told him what had gone through her mind. He thought she was being paranoid and kissed her to make her feel better or so he hoped. She was not easily mollified and lay in bed listening to the wheels on the tracks most of the night. No spirits visited her that night and the dawn soon lit up the compartment.

    Breakfast was in the same car and their fiends from the previous night were already there. A few pleasantries were exchanged but not much else was said. Finally Sanjay said, “I notice that your lady has a Tantric yantra on her neck chain. Have you been visiting the old Tantric temples?”

    Hilton explained that they had and were interested in the practices and history of Tantra. Sanjay said that they, too, were practitioners of Tantra in Calcutta and were members of a group that practiced the rituals. He explained that modern Calcutta lacked the yogis and temples of  the south but that they have very fine newer temples in which to meet and meditate. He asked Hilton how long they planned to stay in the city and what the planned to do there.

    “We’re booked to fly back to Delhi in three days and then on to San Francisco,” said Hilton. “We are looking for information about Mount Meru,” he blurted out even though he didn’t want to talk about it.

    Sanjay looked at him for a moment and said, “that is a mythical place in the Hindu religion, where Brahma is said to live. Why are you interested in it?”

    Hilton tried to avoid the question, “we have heard about it and that other gods are said to live there, too. We know about Shiva and Pavarti who are patron gods of Tantra. We have heard about Vishnu and some of the other gods and want to learn more about the myths that have been told about them.”

    “Those myths and gods are the basis of our Hindu religion,” Sanjay said. “We take them very seriously. They are as real to us as the God of Christians, Muslims and Jews. However, it is important that people understand our religion and we can help you find what you need. We are being met by my driver and we will be pleased to take you to your hotel and make arrangement to show you around the city.”

    Hilton hesitated for a moment and looked at Kay. She had a detached look as if lost and then he accepted the offer of a ride and a guided tour. He could tell from Kay’s face that he had made the wrong choice.

    When they were in their room Kay looked him squarely in the eye as in a low voice said, “how could you accept the invitation of that man? He looks exactly like Parmi and I am very frightened. I hate things I don’t understand”. She put her arms around him as cried “I’m frightened, Hilton. Please take me home.”

    Hilton, never good at dealing with women who are upset, could only promise that they would soon be going home. He hugged her and suggested that they should settle their minds through meditation. After a little coaxing she agreed to try and they settled into their favourite meditation position facing each other, legs entwined and gazing into each other’s eyes as they slowly chanted their mantra. The room was quiet and the lights dimmed but the atmosphere of India was in the air as an inescapable shroud. Slowly her mind began to focus on a single point deep in his eyes and the galloping images that were racing through her mind settled and disappeared. She began to relax as layer after layer of tension peeled away and she felt as if she was drifting just off the ground. Warm feelings appeared in her Muladhara Chakra, spread to her Svadisthana Chakra and awakened her yoni. She needed to have Hilton in her and to feel his lingam anchor her firmly in the dimension of reality. She seemed to drift upward and float to him and then settle slowly onto his waiting shaft. With a slight gasp she let it slide inside and fill her emptiness. They continued to meditate joined as one person until the evening light faded and the room was totally dark.

    Hilton returned reality when the pain in his back became stronger than the pleasure of his meditation. He felt a familiar warm wetness around his lingam and realized that he was inside Kay. He kissed her to bring her out of her meditation. She was not surprised and began to move up and down on him to bring herself to orgasm.  He was not able to hold himself and they came together.

    Kay’s attitude was much better the next morning and she was ready to visit Calcutta. An early call from their new friend and a request to be ready to meet the car at the front of the hotel in an hour and they were off on a whirlwind tour of the teeming city. Calcutta is a fairly new city on the banks of the Ganges but is a mixture of the old and the new India. Built originally as a trading post for Europeans it has a mixture of Indian and Western culture. Evidence of the British rule is everywhere and particularly in the use if the English language by educated people instead of Hindi, the official language of India.

    After a full morning of site seeing Sanjay took them to the Ashutosh Museum of Indian Art. He said that it contains a fine collection of paintings and works that depict the ancient gods and their stories. It is possible they could find an explanation of their dream among the art. He offered to leave them for several hours while he attended to business and pick them up later for supper.

    The museum is an old building with many dimly lit chambers. Lighting was focused on paintings and in exhibition cases to permit viewers to concentrate on the works without distraction. Kay and Hilton walked slowly among the paintings, sculptures and figures of gods and goddesses and remarked how the individual gods could take on different forms and had a variety of names. The stories of their exploits varied depending on the region where they were told but Vishnu and Shiva were prominent throughout the gallery. There were many objects and seals with large stone lingams and round pierced stones depicting yonis suggesting fertility rites among the ancient people.

    Kay gasped as they approached a small display and whispered, “look, isn’t that Mount Meru as we saw it in our dream?” She pointed to a painting that looked like a picture from an old geography book that showed a tall, shining mountain as the centre of the world surrounded by eight tall mountains.  To the north of Meru was a triple peaked mountain and at its base was coiled a great serpent called Vasuki. There were figures on the peaks and the plaque in the case said it was a document probably dating from the thirteenth century found in Sarnassi by a British explorer. It depicted the mythical Mount Meru and the gods Brahma, Shiva and Vishnu on their respective peaks. Kay and Hilton stood entranced not believing their eyes as they read the short explanation of the image. They agreed that it was almost exactly as they had seen it in their dream. Could it be possible that centuries ago other people had had the same hallucination? It seemed very improbable but they couldn’t stop looking at it.

    The stood transfixed for a long time until Hilton sensed someone was approaching and he looked around to find Sanjay looking at them curiously. “It is getting late,” he said, “and you were not at the gate as we agreed. I had to come and see if anything was wrong. What are you looking at?”

    Hilton showed him the painting and explained that they were fascinated by the detail in the work. Kay then whispered, “It is the vision we saw in our dream. We both saw it at the same time and we were floating in the sky guided by an angel called Kama. The angel showed us the mountain and we met with Lord Shiva and Pavarti on his mountaintop. We were shown Shambhala and saw the fish swimming in the Ganges. It was very real and very frightening.” She shuddered and grew silent.

    Sanjay said quietly, “Your spiritual growth must be very advanced or you would not have been permitted to go there. Nobody that I know has done that. You deserve an explanation and I would like to take you to a spiritual leader who will tell you what has happened. Will you come with me, please.”

    They went to an old Hindu temple and there were introduced to a guru and a yogi of the old traditions. Sanjay repeated Kay’s story and described the picture of Mount Meru they were looking at when he found them. He told him they were Americans that had practiced and studied Tantra. Hilton then added that they had participated in the Tantric ritual of Maithuna in the Kamakshi temple at Kanchipuram. He said that he had dreamed he was in the bardo world until he remembered the answer to the question of rebirth.

    The yogi nodded wisely and said, “You have entered the world that is forbidden to living creatures. It is only known through stories and ancient texts that have survived the ravages of time and the wrath of priests and warriors. Hindus do not accept Tantra because it rejects the caste system that was created by Lord Vishnu but because its patron is Lord Shiva it is permitted to exist in dark corners. In the beginning there was only the mother goddess from whom everything that exists was born and to whom all things return. She was called Shatki, the great goddess of the Tantrics. She is also Pavarti, lovely beyond imagination and given the name Kali because of her dark complexion. Shiva was created as the consort of Pavarti or Shatki and without Shiva there is no Shatki and without Shatki there is no Shiva. Shiva was also known as Dionysus in the west when the ancient peoples met and shared beliefs before time was counted."

    "These are powerful totems in any society that suffers the natural pain of sickness, loss, disappointment, old age and death and particularly one under the yoke of a caste system that circumscribes hope for most people. People believe that they were destined to be born again and to repeat the suffering in life after life. Yogis and Tantrics seek to end the cycle of birth, death and rebirth through meditation and often other more drastic means depending on their beliefs.”

    "You will ask if these things are real. Is Mount Meru real? Many men have searched the Himalayas without success. Is there a land of Shambhala or as you call it, Shangri-La? You can only know it through faith just as the Christian must have faith in Jesus and the resurrection in heaven. You have been given a great gift to experience the gods of Mount Meru. Perhaps it was a delayed reaction to the wine you drank in Kanchipuram but your love for each other is great and Lord Shiva and Pavarti are lovers, too. You are blessed by the gods of Tantra and must accept what you have seen as a gift whether it is real or not.”

    Later, after the servant had cleared the dinner dishes the four friends sat on a balcony enjoying the cool evening breeze with a glass of port wine. Hilton was reflective but finally said, “You know, I have been fairly successful in my life so far, I have raised my children and created a good business. I have enough money and time to enjoy my self and I thought I would do just that. I decided that I could hold onto youth in play and sex. As long as I could perform with the ladies I believed I would stay young. Then I met Kay. She is different from the other ladies I knew but I thought it would be fun to be with her. When she brought me into Tantra it seemed to be a great new way to enjoy sex and I was not disappointed. It was and is great. Something happened, though, and I fell in love with her. I came to India because I wanted to be with her and I got much more than I bargained for. I have had a spiritual experience with the woman I love and I will never fear the passing years again. I don’t know if I believe in rebirth or not but I don’t care as long as she is with me.”

    “Tantra does have a way of heightening the bond between partners,” said their host. “My wife and I were like most married couples a few years ago. We didn’t communicate and didn’t share the bed. She said I snored and couldn’t sleep with me. Somehow we became involved in Tantra and reawakened our love and sex lives. We still don’t sleep together but that is not a problem any longer.”

    Kay took a long sip of her port and said, “Are you Shiva and Pavarti?”

    They all looked at her as if to say why do you ask such a question. She sensed their thoughts, “I know it sounds silly to ask but our meeting you on the train was as innocent as our meeting the couple at the temple in Khajuraho. I believe they actually were Shiva and Pavarti in human form. Don’t ask me why I believe it but if they were our hosts then why not you, too.”

    Their hosts were kind and said that definitely they were not the gods in human form. They brought out photographs of their wedding and their children to prove that they were real people. Kay said she was sorry to have brought it up but wanted to get her feelings out in the open. She really enjoyed their hospitality and she felt much better about things after their conversation with the yogi in the temple but she knew she would never be the same again. Life had taken on a new meaning and Hilton was now part of her life. She felt as if she was Pavarti and he was Shiva.

The magic of the trip seemed to end on that note. The two couples parted as dear friends even after such a short acquaintance. Hilton and Kay returned to New Delhi the next day and soon flew back to San Francisco.

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