Full CircleA racy story for the uninhibited |
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November 2006 Hilton's Story Chapter 31 The HindusTourists
in the Durbar Square jostled pilgrims from India, Nepal and Tibet on Freak
Street. Hilton had not been part of bustling, noisy crowd for six months
and felt apprehensive as he stepped aside to avoid bumping people gawking
at the rows of Shiva Shrines and linga images. As they approached the
entrance to the Gujeshwari
Temple monkeys were everywhere along with drum rattling sadhus and
bearded yogis asking for alms. The temple, according the Ananda, is
dedicated to Satidevi, Shivas first wife, who gave up her life in the
flames of her father’s ritual fire. A
priest approached from an alcove near an exotic carving that Hilton would
have expected to see in a Tantric painting. Ananda bowed to the priest,
his hands pressed together, and asked if he was the one they were to meet.
Returning the bow, the priest answered affirmatively. “I am called Sri
Gopala Bhattar,” he said in English, “but you may call me Anna, or
elder brother, while you are here.” He wore a loose robe draped over his
shoulder and his forehead was painted with three white lines and the
traditional red circle of a Brahmin. “Come this way, please.” He
took them into a courtyard, through a door and into a small room. “You
are not allowed to enter the main the temple unless you are Hindus,” he
said. “We accept that Buddhists are a sect of our religion but the
westerner must remain in the common area. You will have chambers in our
monastery. We welcome you into our midst as brothers.” Ananda
thanked him with a hint of hostility in his voice, as he did not agree
that Buddhism was a Hindu sect even though it had been practiced for
centuries before the Buddha received enlightenment. Hilton did not notice
the innuendo and the brief flame of resentment in Ananda’s voice. The
priest heard it but changed the subject saying that he understood they were here as a favour to
RInpoche Upsali. He added that the
RInpoche had told him of Hilton’s experience and that the priest of this
temple would try to interpret it in the light of their beliefs. Touring the temple complex they encountered many priests, saw the dining hall and other facilities. Surprisingly, the temple housed a modern computer room with Internet access and Brother Anna invited Hilton and Ananda to use it. Ananda asked if he could use it to improve the computer skills he had acquired while in Bangalore. Hilton began to think that this would be an interesting place to spend a few weeks as Ananda looked hungrily at the computer terminal. Brother Anna then described the routine of the temple and it was very much the same as in the Buddhist monastery. A great deal of time was devoted to looking after the pilgrims and tourists that visit this most holy site of Hinduism since most of the revenue needed to sustain the complex came from the visitors. Hilton
returned to the computer room and with the help of the priest accessed his
email. It was again full of spam but he found two personal messages,
one from his daughter announcing he was to be a grandfather and the other
from Karen asking how and where he was. He deleted the spam
but kept the two messages while he thought about a reply. Ananda
looked at the web page he had created and marveled that he could see it
from this temple. He showed the priest excitedly what he had done and the
priest proudly brought up the home page for the temple. He promised to help Ananda
learn more about creating web pages and using the computer to host images
made with digital cameras. The
next few weeks were full of interesting and new activities for both Hilton
and Ananda. They participated in the life of the temple to the extent
permitted and Hilton learned about the gods and goddesses of the temple.
Lord Shiva and his consort were the main dieties but other gods were
worshiped as appropriate to the day or the occasion. It did not take long
for him to notice the similarities of Hinduism and Buddhism and the
differences. One afternoon he asked Brother Anna, as he now called him, if
there were any Hindus who practiced the Tantra. Brother Anna was quiet for
a few moments and then said, “Perhaps it is time we listened to your
experience.” Hilton felt a slight chill run through him as he
anticipated a cool reception to what he would say.
Early the next morning Hilton and Ananda were summoned to the large
meditation room and found six priests seated on cushions, Brother
Anna at the front, a space for the two guests in the centre. “These
men are here as a favour to Rinpoche Upsali,” said Brother Anna. “They
will tell us what has brought them here. You, priests of this temple,
must interpret the meaning of what you hear. Brother Ananda will translate
the words into Hindi for those who do not speak English.” Hilton
glanced at statues of Lord Shiva in his most fierce form
with two snakes entwined around his feet and a sword drawn as to slay an
opponent. Opposite him was a statue of Parvati in one of her most
beautiful forms. This was certainly the place where his dream would be
understood he thought as he began to speak. Many
of the priests appeared to be shocked as he recited the activities
associated with Tantra and even more by the description of
Ritual of Maithuna. The story progressed quickly to the visit to Khajuraho
and the events that took place there. He then described finding the
painting in the Calcutta library, the return to America and the death of
Kay. As he described this part he was not able to remain detached, choked
and stopped talking. Brother
Anna stopped him. They would continue the next day. He told the priests to
meditate before going on. Hilton was grateful for the opportunity to
collect his thoughts and quickly retired to his chamber.
He
woke again in a clammy sweat. No moonlight penetrated his chamber but the
door opened permitted a crack to light from a lamp in the corridor. A
figure slipped into the room, the door closed. He sensed another person
nearby.
“Tara?
Have you come to haunt me?”
Something
came too him and a hand found his face. “Shh, don’t say
anything.”
It
was the voice of a woman. He felt her breath on his cheek. She was sitting
on the bed beside him.
“Who
are you? What do you want?” he whispered. He felt her lips on his
silencing his voice.
“I
am Tara, not the Tara of the gods but your Tara for tonight. Lie
back and let me comfort you. The priests have sent me to you. They saw how
badly you felt when you talked this afternoon.”
He
felt her breast against his cheek. Her lips were on his nipples and her
tongue teased them. Surprised, he felt helpless as she
moved over his body. He was still sleeping, this was not real
just as the last visit from Tara was not real. She felt real, her heart
beat and her breath on his skin.
What
to do? He didn’t want to throw her out and yet this was not right.
“Lie
still, relax, nothing will happen,” she said. “Remember your lost
love, I am she tonight. I will do what she would do.”
“Who
are you?” he asked.
“I
am you.”
He
cried and held her tight. It had to be her. He entered her with a force
long forgotten. She arched in surprise answering his thrust with strength
she didn’t know she had. The
first hint of dawn glowed in the window when he woke. She was still in his
arms, her long black hair flowing over her naked body. She was beautiful
but she wasn’t Kay. She stirred and opened her dark eyes.
“Oh,
I slept. I must go.” Before he could stop her she gathered her sari and
fled through the door. Hilton
and Ananda were again summoned to the meditation room and asked to
continue the story. He didn’t know what to say about the woman in his
room. Did the priests send her as she said? Was she even real? He
would wait and hear what Brother Anna said. “Are
you able to continue your explanation of why you are here?” he asked. No
hint about the woman. He told them about his return to India to search for
the spirit of his beloved Kay. He explained that he believed she was
waiting and India was the most likely place. The priests appeared very thoughtful
when he described his meeting with Ananda under the bhodi tree in the Deer
Park. They seemed disturbed when he described the reaction of the common
people to his story as described by the yogis along the road
in the south of India and they gasped when told of the encounter with the
snake in Maderia. Hilton ended his tale at the point they arrived in
Kathmandu. The
room remained silent for several minutes until Brother Anna spoke. “Is that all?” “I
had an encounter with Tara last night. I believe it was a woman sent to me
by you,” he said. “Another
dream perhaps,” answered Brother Anna brusquely. “You may leave this
room, we will confer and inform you of our opinion. The
priests expressed amazement that the gods should have revealed themselves
to a westerner under the influence of the Tantric cult. They did not
believe most of what had been said and determined to seek such evidence,
as was available including the painting in the museum in Calcutta. There
was too much coincidence to ignore it completely. In truth, he had responded to the
temple whore as they expected when she answered the “who are you”
question as they had instructed her. Hinduism
had spawned too many cults and offshoots over the centuries to ignore the
possibility that another could arise spontaneously. They agreed to bring
Upsali and Sariputa to Kathmandu where they could control them and
prevent the story being told outside this temple. Hilton would be kept in
seclusion for as long as possible, with the aid of tranquilizers if necessary
although the woman might calm him. Rinpoche Anjali would be told of
their decision, Brother Anna knew he would understand and agree. Hilton
and Ananda were told that the priests were unable to explain the reason
for the events Hilton had experienced. They said it might have been
drugs in the wine he had taken during the Maithuna ritual. Hilton was
asked to stay in the temple as a novice monk and learn more of the Vedas
and Hindu practices while Ananda was to return to the Buddhist monastery
but would be permitted to return and practice using the computer. Hilton
looked at Ananda for a sign of what he was thinking and saw a deep frown
on his face. “They are not being honest”, Hilton said. “What do you
think is happening? First RInpoche sends us to this temple without telling
us what he thinks and now the priests give us the run around. There is
something happening and I don’t like it.” Ananda agreed but didn’t
have any suggestions. They talked it over and decided to wait until
they learned more.
Hilton spent the next several weeks as a novice priest in the
temple studying the Vedas and trying to learn Sanskrit, the original
language of the texts. One afternoon as he walked the courtyard he heard
his name called and turned to find Upsali and Sariputa looking dazed and
bewildered. They wanted to know why the priests had brought them to the
temple and asked Hilton if it had anything to do with it. Brother Anna
appeared and explained that the yogis were here to get
another perspective on the Hilton experience. He said they would be
staying as guests of the temple. Later, when Ananda arrived for computer
training Hilton said that he thought the priests were trying to hush
things up. Ananda didn’t think they would do that but he was not
convinced of his own thoughts. Later, Upsali
said that there was still a great deal of conversation in the towns about
the meeting of Lord Shiva and the westerner. He believed that the Brahmins
were disturbed by what was happening and afraid that something would
happen to disturb the balance of their power. The
priests treated their guests with cautious generosity. The woman visited
Hilton from time to time and he was diligent in his studies forgetting
about his earlier concerns. His mind seemed to be on a different level as
if he was drugged or brain washed. Ananda became concerned. He questioned
the Rinpoche and received a noncommittal response with instructions
to apply himself to Buddhist affairs. As the days went by and Hilton
became more distant Ananda called Master Anjali at Sarnath and asked
for advice. He was told to let Hilton follow his own path and that he
would soon be sent to school in America. Upsali and Sariputa were denied a
request to return to the south. Sometime
later, as he was reading emails, he checked Hilton’s mailbox
and found a message from his daughter with an attached picture of her new
baby girl. Ananda printed the picture because Hilton seemed to be
uninterested in the computer and would not look at the monitor. Hilton
regarded the picture blankly without any comment but he kept it and over
the next few days he looked at it more and more frequently. Something in
the eyes attracted his attention and he seemed to come back to his old
self bit by bit until finally he returned to the computer room and asked
Ananda to for the message his daughter had sent. It said that the
baby would be christened when he came home and asked him to come soon.
There were several other messages from both Carol and Karen asking about
him and praying for a reply. It was time to return home. "Ananda, I must return home," he said . He surprised himself with the realization and the decision. "I don't think the priests will just let me go. What do you think?" "I don't think so either," said Ananda. "What can we do?" " I left my passport, phone, some money and credit card in the monastery with my clothes. Can you get them for me?" "I think so but I'm being watched," said Ananda, "you are, too. We'll have to be careful." They talked in whispers about the consequences of being stopped by Brother Anna. The priest were in complete control in the temple and there could be no help from outside. Hilton decided to take his chances.
"I'll take the first bus to New Delhi tomorrow morning, bring my
things and clothes and meet me there."
He
was awake at three in the morning and slipped past the hall
monitor into the dark corridors and outside. At that hour no one was about
so he crossed the river to the bus depot. It was closed. He hid in
an alley until Ananda appeared
like a ghost in the shadows. Hilton stripped off the priests robe
and put on the shirt and trousers he'd worn when he came to Kathmandu.” Ananda
couldn’t stay. He was being sent to America for further training and
would go as soon as he received a visa. He gave his hotmail address to
Hilton asking him to keep in touch. It
was cold while they waited for the bus depot to open.
Ananda left and Hilton bought a ticket to New Delhi fully expecting them to
come for him and soon two priests appeared in the main waiting area looking at
everyone but he stayed out of sight.
When the bus doors opened the passengers surged and he mixed
with them onto the bus. The priests saw him too late and gestured to come
back but they couldn’t stop him. In
New Delhi he called Sanjay and arranged for a flight home.
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