Full Circle

October 2006

Hilton's Story

Chapter 14 Tantra

The next few days followed a pattern. Kay got up first made coffee and prepared a light breakfast. Hilton rolled out of bed after reaching for her and finding her gone complained about it at breakfast. She always said “later, dear. They usually went for a jog along the sea path and came back after an hour or so. Each would call home or check on business thinking that the world could not exist without them.

Early in the afternoon they returned to Ingleside to join their classmates with Jess and Bob. The experience of group nakedness and sex had been difficult at first but they soon adjusted and everyone seemed to enjoy it. Hilton noticed that some of the men watched Kay with more than passing interests.  He, himself, was attracted to several of the ladies including Jess whose luscious firm breasts cried out for attention.  

Bob explained the basics of Kama Sutra positioning and demonstrated new techniques every day. The class practiced until they got it right. Many of the men were beginning to control ejaculation but Hilton guessed that they likely were fooling themselves. He was having trouble and but was getting better or so he thought. Jess led them in meditation and PC exercise while Bob explained the Chakras and how Chakra energy flows from one Chakra to another in the body. He described the concept of the third eye and it’s importance in the Hindu religion. “Many of the gifts we experience in loving, sexual relationships,” he said, “ are from Shiva and Shatki and we should praise them in whatever form we find them. Shiva and Shatki are the god and goddess of Tantra”.

After class Kay and Hilton returned to Kay’s home and relaxed. They actually felt tired after the day’s activities. One evening Hilton took her to dinner and a movie but in general they were homebodies and enjoyed being together in the evening. There was, of course, homework and they enjoyed that too.

Graduation was Saturday. The class assembled an hour early for the two-part examination. The first part was on the theory and principles they had learned about Tantric Sexual practice and the second part was a practical test of the Massage techniques. The women were required to demonstrate their skill on Bob and the men on Jess. The tests were done in private to prevent cheating and when Hilton’s turn came he went boldly into the room where Jess was waiting. She looked marvellous, her skin flushed from several students who had passed the test already. Hilton knelt between her legs and looked into her eyes where he saw a deep forest glade hidden in the specks of green among her lovely brown irises. He couldn’t help himself when he said, “you look lovely, Jess.” He learned over and kissed her lips lingering on her sweetness. He had practiced and soon had Jess riding the wave. After as she regained her composure she said, “You’ve passed, Hilton, congratulations”? He got up with regret and left the room.  

No one actually failed the examinations but some students received recommendations that they should take another session whenever it was possible. Jess remarked that practice makes perfect but skills have to be learned correctly. Everyone was then invited a party on the patio. It was beside the pool that Bob mentioned the tour to India that was being organized to visit the sacred temples and sites where the Shiva, Shatki and Pavarti had inspired the Tantric Sutras.

“I’ve always dreamed of going to India,” Hilton whispered to Kay. “It would be the chance of a lifetime to see how the Indians practice Tantra. I’m going to find out more details of the tour. Maybe we can go together, what do you think?”  

Kay had changed from the dominant person Hilton had met in New York to a more submissive woman, still with hypnotic green eyes, who had the ability to command him but preferred to simply love him and wished him to take charge of many things in her life. She found no difficulty in saying that she would love to go with him.

The Meaning of Life

Hilton opened his email for the latest messages from Kay. They have been exchanging emails several times each day since Hilton had returned to Toronto. The latest message read “ Jess has arranged for the tour in January. We’ll fly to Delhi and then travel south to the tip of India. There are lots of temples in the south and we will have time to visit them and meditate. I want us to join them. We can stay longer and visit sites in the north if you wish. I hope you agree. Come down for Christmas. We’ll leave from SFX.”

Hilton decided to call and find out more about the trip before he fully committed to go. He really just wanted to talk to Kay. Their feelings for each other had grown during their absence and emails and phone calls were not a substitute for being together.  Hilton had thought about selling his business and moving to San Francisco but common sense prevailed at least for the time being.

 He had read a great deal about the Tantra since returning from his course in Tantric sexual practices. Tantra evolved from the mother goddess Kali who was worshipped by every primitive tribe in one form or another. Kali had a companion who was known as Runda, chief god of the hunter tribes. The gods of the Indus valley, the Tibetan mountains and the Mediterranean basin intermingled as tribes migrated in search of food or conquest. Kali and Runda were worshipped to ensure survival and fertility and they often required human and animal sacrifice. As time passed the brutal aspects of sacrifice were changed to symbolic sacraments and rituals.

He learned that for the ancient people life was hard and violent. People believed that they were reborn endlessly in different life forms until they obtained enlightenment, which stopped rebirth and they could enter Nirvana or one of the higher realms where existence was more pleasant. Many religious sects were created to help people to achieve enlightenment usually through meditation and yogic exercises. Tantra was one of the sects and worshipped Shiva and Shatki, a male and female god. They were originally the Mother Goddess Kali and Runda.

Tantric enlightenment followed a very different path from Hinduism and Buddhism and was frowned upon by the Brahmins and Buddhists. Many Buddhist sutras were intended to keep Buddhists from even considering Tantric ideas. Hindus considered Tantra as an unimportant sect. Christianity and Islam had no room for any of the eastern religions even though their roots were the same.

“Hello, Kay, how are you and do you miss me, my love?” Hilton said when she answered the phone.

“Of course I miss you, you stallion,” she said. “What do you think about the trip to India? It sounds great doesn’t it? Jess and Bob have been there several times and know exactly what to do and see. She said there are about twelve couples booked to go for sure and a couple of maybes.”

“I like it, Kay,” Hilton replied. “What about the part in the north. Will the rest be with us?”

“No, that will be for us alone,” she said. “We can visit Delhi and the other places like the Taj Mahal and even go to Nepal. There’s a temple in Khajuraho that is spectacular with figures depicting uninhibited sex. It was built over a thousand years ago.”

Hilton was convinced more by the excitement in her voice than the prospect of figures depicting uninhibited sex. “Okay, hon,” he answered. “Lets go. We’ll join with Jess and Bob first and then make our own plans for afterwards.

We’ll make our plans and travel arrangements right away and I’ll be there for Christmas.”

 Christmas

Kay was waiting at San Francisco International when Hilton arrived in the early afternoon. She gave him a huge warm hug and kiss as a Merry Christmas welcome which he had no trouble returning and they caught up on all the little things on the drive home where Jenny was waiting. The house was decorated with Christmas lights and a large Christmas tree stood in the corner of the living room. Hilton hadn’t felt the Christmas spirit since the years when his family was young and it drew a lump to his throat. Jenny quickly chased it away with a glass of single malt scotch and a toast to their Christmas together.

This time Hilton was not put in the guest room but was taken directly to Kay’s room. He felt like he was really part of a family and he liked it.

That evening when the dishes were done and the gifts were under the tree they sat and just looked into each other’s eyes. The eyes are the windows to the heart and their hearts were full of love. “I missed you very much, you demon. What have you done to me?” Kay whispered. “I thought I was over all this love stuff for once and forever.”

Hilton loved women but he couldn’t remember feeling this emotion in the very base of his stomach. He tried to remember the Chakra that was involved but it didn’t matter in the circumstances. “I missed you, too. You’ll never know how close I came to selling out and moving here to be with you,” he answered. Their lips met and they drank deeply from each other to seal their joy. Later that night they fully expressed their feelings in the rapture of their physical union.

Kay was up early as usual and had breakfast ready for Jenny and Hilton when they came to the kitchen. She was singing happily while he was trying to adjust to the time change. Normally he woke early the first few days on the west coast but not this morning. “We’ve got a busy day, everyone,” she said. “Hilton and I are going to see Jess and Bob and then confirm plans at the travel agency. Jenny has shopping with her friends, unless she wants to join us. We also have to complete arrangements for Christmas. I’ve invited some friends over for Christmas Eve and we’ll be visiting on Christmas Day. We’ll have our own Christmas dinner here, just the three of us.”

He had gifts for Kay and Jenny but wanted to pick up something for Bob and Jess. He thought a bottle of wine would be a gesture of goodwill. Kay had agreed to complete their travel wardrobe after Christmas when they had a better idea of what would be appropriate.

When they arrived at the house in Ingleside Jess and Bob were waiting and welcomed Hilton back with a cup of Darjeeling tea. Bob thought it would be fitting to share tea instead of whiskey to celebrate the trip to India but he thanked Hilton for the wine. Sipping tea he described the itinerary and gave Kay a pamphlet showing the places they would see and the temples they would visit. 

“You remember the chakras we talked about during our Tantric training?” asked Bob. They nodded and Bob continued, “ When the chakras are awakened they can release the energy called kundalini. Some people say kundalini is the energy of Shatki herself, the primal energy that created the cosmos. All the rituals of Tantra are intended to awaken the kundalini energy that lies within us. Jess and I have experienced the beginning of the release of kundalini energy but it can take years of training and meditation to awaken it fully.”

“We know a yoga at the Vaitheeswaran Temple and we will spend time there and practice meditation. If we are successful he may let us join in the Gnostic Ritual and the Sacrament of Maithuna with other people in the temple. There are five sacrifices to the Ritual that require eating meat, fish and grain, drinking wine and Maithuna. The Ritual demands absolute purity of mind and participants must be properly prepared before the ceremony. The sacrifices are serious because they are taboo in Hindu and Buddhist tradition. Each is a symbol of the ancient rituals that involved human and animal sacrifice.”

“The yogi will explain the meaning of each sacrifice if he thinks we have become sufficiently purified by meditation and have experienced kundalini. I doubt if everyone in the group will be allowed to participate but I think you will be ready. I can see the love you have for each other and that is the basis of Tantra.”

“That sounds like a serious commitment to take in a religion we know nothing about. Wouldn’t it be blasphemous?”

You can make a choice yourselves when we are there,” Bob replied. “Even if you only release part of your kundalini energies you will gain a lot and it is the first step to achieving Enlightenment. It will be a great experience no matter what happens.”

There were other details of the trip to be organized and they finished late in the afternoon.  As Kay started her car she turned to Hilton saying, “What do you think? Are we ready to go all the way with this Tantra thing?”

Hilton was silent for a while before he answered, “It has brought us this far. I haven’t felt like I do now before and you are the gift it brought me. I’m ready if you are.” And so they agreed to go as far into Tantra as they were able as long as they were together, like Shiva and Shatki.

The next two weeks were a hectic combination of parties and preparation. Kay found a store with the perfect outfits for travel in a hot climate. Hilton surfed the Internet to find out as much information about the places they planned to visit as possible. In the evening they practiced the Tantric rituals of lovemaking and Hilton almost gained control over ejaculation. He learned that in ancient times people had transformed the sacrificial killing to propitiate the Goddess to ritual castration and then eventually to abstain from spilling the male seed. For many centuries practitioners of Tantra engaged in sexual union with their partner but refrained from ejaculation except for procreation. Yoga postures were created to engage with a partner for long periods of time. The Kama Sutra described many positions and there is a wealth of paintings and other art objects that portray couples in the practice. The more he read the more interested he became in the culture and history of India. He felt he was ready for anything by the time they left for Delhi.

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