Full Circle

October 2006

Hilton's Story

Chapter 24 Tragedy

  Spring sunshine streamed through dusty office windows casting a golden glow over the floor in front of his desk. Hilton glowed with love and happiness, as discussions to transfer his business to a syndicate of employees and his son were nearly complete. The deal would close the next day and he would move to San Francisco to live for the rest of his life with Kay. He smiled both inwardly and outwardly at the warm sun in the blue sky.

Home from India for two months, his life was empty without her. He knew she felt the same way and they agreed to live together forever. They had learned so much about themselves but he knew there was more to know. Aside from sharing their love and life they had unanswered questions about their experience in India. She craved an explanation of their vision on Mount Meru. He wanted to know how the spirituality of the east and the west had diverged. Theirs would be a fascinating life of discovery and he was anxious to get started.

Then the phone rang.

Everything ended with that phone call.  He picked up the receiver. It was Jill, sobbing.

 “Hilton, Hilton, is that you? Mommy’s been in an accident and they don’t think she’s going to make it. Come quickly, please.”

The words struck like a hammer and his voice cracked as he asked for more information. She couldn’t say much but told him to hurry. He could call Bob and Jess, they knew all there was to know. She hung up and the dial tone buzzed through his head.

He called Bob’s number and Jess answered. Bob was at the hospital waiting. There had been a crash and Kay’s car was crushed under a transport truck. She was critically injured. That is all Jess knew at the moment. Hilton said he would be there as soon as he could and would call from the airplane enroute.

He arrived the next day.

The images of walking down the corridor, entering her room, the ashen face on the white pillow, tubes and monitors connected to the broken body burned in his brain. He took her hand and she opened her eyes. Those beautiful green eyes, her last words, “I waited for you, I’ll love you always.”

She died.

The next days were a blur. So many friends came to the funeral. Hilton’s role was difficult because not everyone knew of his place in her life. The immediate family took charge and he wandered off lost and broken. Bob and Jess guided him through the service and the burial. Jenny was not much help; she was badly in need of comfort herself. They both became acquainted with the suffering of loss, one of the eight sufferings he had learned of in India.

His son called reminding him to close the sale of his business. He was sorry to intrude at this time of grief although he did not know Kay except for what his father had told him.  Hilton would return home the next week.

He spent time with Bob and Jess talking about Kay and their brief life together. He described their experience at Khajuraho and their encounter with Sanjay on the train. He talked and talked clearing his mind and letting go his feelings.

Bob listened but couldn’t think of anything that would help. Finally he said, “Tantra is intended to help people achieve enlightenment. You must have been close to enlightenment, maybe Kay has been transported through bardo to Nirvana, or maybe she is waiting somewhere for release from bardo.”

Bob’s words made sense in Hilton’s confused mind. “Of course. She’s waiting for me. I must find her.”

He immediately felt better and began to plan. He would go back to India and retrace their trip from Calcutta to the beginning. He was sure she would make a sign that she was waiting for him.

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